Irish Translation Forum

Ask for Irish Gaelic translations on this English to Irish, Irish to English translator forum.
Irish language translations given on this voluntary community site cannot be guaranteed to be correct. Always ask for a second or third opinion, especially for requests for tattoos, wedding rings, etc.

Hope is the thing with feathers...

Ask for free Irish Gaelic translations. Community-based Irish English translator service.

Moderator: Moderators - Módhnóirí

Author Message
Post March 27 2010, 2:45 AM
fio_smiles
Gaeilgeoir
 
Posts: 380
Below is my first attempt at converting an English poem into Irish (after tackling that crazy Old Irish Poem I thought I'd try something simpler in the other direction) it's simple enough AND a favourite of mine! I'd appreciate some help if you guys get a chance.

There's many mistakes, and tenses and issues, but I'd appreciate any comments and help with this... I've made comments where I feel it's seriously wrong!

Hope
Dóchas
by Emily Dickenson

Hope is the thing with feathers
Is é dóchas an rud cleití (not leniated since rud is masculine, right?)
That perches in the soul,
a suíodh san anam (using present-continuous..)
And sings the tune--without the words,
agus canadh an fonn - gan na focail (maybe gan aon focal?)
And never stops at all,
agus ní stadadh sé in am ar bith, (ar chor ar bith?or is that going too far? do I need the ?)
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
agus sa gála is binn a chualathas (unsure of sentence structure and using the autonomous form of the past?)
And sore must be the storm
agus bheifí nimhneach é an stoirm (not sure how to say must be rather than would be)
That could abash the little bird
a dhéanfaí míshocair ar an éanín (.... can I use éanín instead of éan beag?)
That kept so many warm.
a coinníodh té ar go leor daoine (do I need the daoine? does this even read right?)
I've heard it in the chillest land,
Cloisinn é sa tír is fuaire (is this too 'Bearlanach' ? past continuous here also ok?)
And on the strangest sea;
agus ar an bhfarraige is aistí (Bearlanach?)
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.
Ach, i tréimhse chontúirteach (but, in a dangerous period...? running out of ideas for extremity)
ní iarradh sé grabhróg amháin uaim (it didn't ask, past continuous, a single crumb from me, the amháin is more poetic...)

Emily Dickenson

And overall -- can I use í for the bird, i.e. feminine, I know éan is masculine, but... it seems to me for this poem I could use poetic license?

Go raibh maith agaibh!


Fio's Thought Process -- beware -- scary in here!

Hope
Dóchas

Hope is the thing with feathers

dóchas (m1) hope
cleite (m4) feather

cleití feathers
rud (m3) thing

Is é dóchas an rud cleití (not leniated since rud is masculine, right?)

That perches in the soul,

anam (m3) soul
suigh (verb) to sit / to perch
sa/san (preposition) in the (before consonant/before vowel)

a suíodh san anam (using present-continuous..)

And sings the tune--without the words,

focal (m1) word
na focail the words
can (verb) to sing

fonn (m1) melody/tune

agus canadh an fonn - gan na focail (maybe gan aon focal?)

And never stops at all,

stad (verb) to stop
never (phrase) in am ar bith

agus ní stadadh sé in am ar bith, (ar chor ar bith?or is that going too far? do I need the ?)
And sweetest in the gale is heard;

binn sweet
gale (m4) gála
clois (verb) to hear

agus sa gála is binn a chualathas (unsure of sentence structure and using the autonomous form of the past?)

And sore must be the storm

nimhneach (adjective) painful/sore
stoirm (f2) storm
an storim the storm

agus bheifí nimhneach é an stoirm (not sure how to say must be rather than would be) 

That could abash the little bird

míshocair (adjective) uneasy
abash is like to make uneasy, a deán míshocair ?
éan (m1) bird

an t-éan the bird

a dhéanfaí míshocair ar an éanín  (.... can I use éanín instead of éan beag?)

That kept so many warm.

coinnigh (verb) to keep/preserve

(adjective) warm

a coinníodh té ar go leor daoine (do I need the daoine? does this even read right?)

I've heard it in the chillest land,

tír (f2) country / land

fuar (adjective1) cold

Cloisinn é sa tír is fuaire (is this too 'Bearlanach' ? past continuous here also ok?)

And on the strangest sea;

farraige (f4) sea
aisteach (adjective1) strange

agus ar an bhfarraige is aistí (Bearlanach?)

Yet, never, in extremity,

It asked a crumb of me.

contúirteach (a1) dangerous / risky
tréimhse (f4) period/time
iarr (verb) to ask

grabhróg (f2) a crumb
uaim (prep.) from me (ó mé)
 
Ach, i tréimhse chontúirteach (but, in a dangerous period...? running out of ideas for extremity)
ní iarradh sé grabhróg amháin uaim (it didn't ask, past continuous, a single crumb from me, the amháin is more poetic...)

Emily Dickenson


And overall -- can I use í for the bird, i.e. feminine, I know éan is masculine, but... it seems to me for this poem I could use poetic license?

I'm a happy beginner. So please, always, always, always wait for confirmation on my translations.

 
Post March 27 2010, 10:43 AM
The Goy from Japan
Craiceáilte
 
Posts: 5634
Looks good at a glance. Maybe "gan focal" is good as well.
You certainly put a lot of work into translating. :D

Post March 27 2010, 11:15 AM
Breandán
Giostaire
 
Posts: 4409
My thought processes:

Hope is the thing with feathers...

hope dóchas
thing with feathers cearc

Is cearc é an dóchas Image

Post March 28 2010, 0:48 AM
fio_smiles
Gaeilgeoir
 
Posts: 380
Breandán wrote:My thought processes:

Hope is the thing with feathers...

hope dóchas
thing with feathers cearc

Is cearc é an dóchas Image


First of all: boo! :)

The Goy from Japan wrote:Looks good at a glance. Maybe "gan focal" is good as well.
You certainly put a lot of work into translating. :D


Thank you, I really am trying to make an effort to delve in! :) And I think I like aon focal most when I read it for... flow.



So, my tenses and the 'englishy' nature of the Irish are realllly bugging me, that's going to take me a little time.... advice please? :)
I'm a happy beginner. So please, always, always, always wait for confirmation on my translations.

Post March 28 2010, 0:57 AM
scoobytyson
Craiceáilte
 
Posts: 6550
There are a lot of smallish grammar errors too.

To start at the beginning - what does an rud cleití mean to you?

...or the end (last comment) aon fhocal. BTW 'tune' and 'the words/lyrics' go together, so I think you are changing the meaning by making 'focal' singular.
The money-grabbing wankers who control this site can ban me too. Talk about recruiting trolls! I've spent enough time putting money in their pockets.

Post March 28 2010, 1:15 AM
fio_smiles
Gaeilgeoir
 
Posts: 380
scoobytyson wrote:There are a lot of smallish grammar errors too.


Yes! That's why I'm asking for help :) This is all learning for me, thank you.

To start at the beginning - what does an rud cleití mean to you?


to me it is the feathered thing which was the closest I could make to thing with feathers.

...or the end (last comment) aon fhocal. BTW 'tune' and 'the words/lyrics' go together, so I think you are changing the meaning by making 'focal' singular.


not sure -- [and sings the tune without a single word] is okay for me I think, or am I misunderstanding the comment?
Last edited by fio_smiles on March 28 2010, 1:24 AM, edited 1 time in total.
I'm a happy beginner. So please, always, always, always wait for confirmation on my translations.

Post March 28 2010, 1:17 AM
Caffler
Aistritheoir Cíocrach
 
Posts: 15733
The Goy from Japan wrote:Looks good at a glance.


looks better from a distance 8O
Get the Ræliksen CD here
éist leis an gceol

tá sult na saoirse i gcló na gcrann
is grá don tsúil a fiaradh,
tá dúil sa rud tá casta cam
is gráin don bhog is don díreach.

Post March 29 2010, 5:19 AM
The Goy from Japan
Craiceáilte
 
Posts: 5634
Caffler wrote:
The Goy from Japan wrote:Looks good at a glance.


looks better from a distance 8O


As you do. :lach:

Post March 29 2010, 21:01 PM
fio_smiles
Gaeilgeoir
 
Posts: 380
fio_smiles wrote:And sore must be the storm
agus bheifí nimhneach é an stoirm (not sure how to say must be rather than would be)


Any thoughts on this bit?

How do I get to 'must be' -- I'm a bit lost with tenses at times!

Go raibh maith agaibh!
I'm a happy beginner. So please, always, always, always wait for confirmation on my translations.

Post March 30 2010, 15:17 PM
fio_smiles
Gaeilgeoir
 
Posts: 380
*bumpity* *bumpity* :)
I'm a happy beginner. So please, always, always, always wait for confirmation on my translations.


Next

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Yahoo [Bot]